clashing of screaming souls
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: While training in the desert, Kakashi tells Sasuke a story he remembers. (Note: Itachi and Sasuke, Kakashi and Sasuke pairings)


**fandom - Naruto  
title - clashing of screaming souls  
rating - pg  
pairing - kakashi + sasuke, itachi + sasuke  
description – While training in the desert, Kakashi tells Sasuke a story he remembers.  
**

**disclaimer – Naruto doesn't belong to me.**

**clashing of screaming souls.  
by miyamoto yui**

"My mind's going insane," he mumbles to himself as he holds his head inside his aching hands. His back's leaning on a large piece of rock while a million things run through because of the nightmare that's just killed him all over again.

"You act just like your brother."

Those words attach onto his heart and suck on him little by little like a parasite. It's still living inside of him and it relishes on his suffering, just as his brother dictated through 'continuing his pathetic existence'.  
His back is turned as he gets up and tries to futilely trace the lines of the canyon with his eyes. There is nothing to see, but he pretends to be interested in something that isn't even there.

Isn't that always the case?

"Don't compare me to that jerk, Kakashi," he retorts with an acidic tone.

He runs down the rocky path, attaching his charka in split-second steps. He's running away in the form of 'training', but his teacher catches up to him as he clenches one hand over the other's wrist. It's become addicting to harm himself.

The suicidal tendencies pound through his blood, a gift etched by his brother's fingernails scraping his mind and heart .

But the handsome, silver-haired sensei grabs the wrist attached to the crackling, visible charka in his student's palm. They watch each other as the light fades away with its own spurts of protest.  
"What do you think you're doing, Sasuke?"

The grip becomes tighter.

"I'm teaching you this for the tournament, and NOT for any other purpose." Kakashi's eyes dart into him like daggars that protect and hurt him at the same time. "In the end, remember, your intentions are what determine the strength of your attack."  
Darkly, he gravely emphasizes, "It isn't your attack alone that gives the best results."

The boy knows that very well. He eyes him with a pout and an attitude that tries to keep its calm at all times, unfazed by the worst because he's already seen it. Living through it was another matter.

"I was there when your brother ran away with you, Sasuke."

"What?" he spitefully questions even though he's dying to distinguish the jagged pieces his brother left along the way of destruction for him to follow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Itachi became unsatisfied with everything. Though I don't know all the details, what was most apparent was that everything became unbearable. At a young age, he became aware of his importance within the village and could no longer have fun with the training as he used to. Most of all, he wanted more than what could be offered to him.

And so, one day, he ran away from home with his baby brother in his arms. He held him tightly and went as far as he could with the child quietly clinging onto him. No one expected for him to be attached to the baby who barely turned half a year. Who would have thought that he'd like him enough to bring him along?"

The light is consumed by the darkness and so they stare at one another. Kakashi's grip loosens a little as Sasuke shakes his head a little, not believing anything his teacher is telling him.

"I only know this because they sent me to chase after him. It took a few days, but when I found you deep in some forest to the South, Itachi held onto you with so much affection that I couldn't believe that this was the same starch-faced guy who never let anything get to him.

Again and again, he said, 'Don't be like me, Sasuke. If I take you away, then maybe you'll have a better life.'"

Sasuke is at a complete loss as Kakashi fully lets him go by now. The boy looks down at the ground, promising himself once more that he doesn't know what tears are. Kakashi pats his head and touches his hair.

He looks up towards the starry sky.

"I almost wanted to fail the mission and say I didn't find them. After all, I was sure the genius of the village could survive on his own, but when I turned around, he said, 'I'll go back.'

When came up to me, his eyes told me, 'I'm not going back because I want to. I loathe that village, but I'm sure he'll become better than I ever could. And he'll prove that fate isn't dictated by your name.'

That was the only reason why he came back."

Sensei's hand was cold, but it felt warm inside of him. However, nothing touched him more than the words of the brother he'd always known. Even if he couldn't believe the person that appeared before him and let him 'live' or imprinted into his head the smile of the sincerity of someone who was tired of all the pressures of the village, they were the same.

The person who killed their family and left the village clean of people while filling it with their blood…  
The person who used to wake him up and took away the covers when he was in a deep sleep…

The person who he hated and loved at the same time even after all they'd been through…

"So, he's waiting for you," Kakashi said while running his fingers through Sasuke's soft hair. "He's waiting for you to correct what he couldn't."

Sasuke lifts his head up and gazes at Kakashi, who's looking down at him.

"I don't ever get what he wants from me. Reminds me of the blockhead…"

It's at that moment that the sensei hugs his shoulders and his student leans his back on the sensei's body for this silent instant of support. They close their eyes for a moment, a brief encounter with the peace that they believe they don't deserve.

"I made a mistake last time…" Kakashi thinks regrettfully. "Can I do something now? If only I had-"

Sasuke pulls himself away. He takes a deep breath and runs up the cliff again. Kakashi watches him as he runs back down trying to do 'chidori'. The cute boy's intense eyes change into crimson as they become larger and larger while descending the cliff.

Forgetting the world, he sees nothing else on his way down…  
Stunningly, it's as if he's flying…

_/"We are fallen angels, Sasuke._

_We always try to look for a place that is only for us. Free from the ties that bind us to things we did not choose. Suffering is a form of redemption, isn't it?_

_But there are only two of us, you and me._

_We fell and they'll start to call you 'devil' when you defy their words. But if you ask me, Kamisama was saved by that angel that fell. That angel loved him too much and pushed himself away, getting caught up with all the things that he could be._

_It would never be enough._

_So, it wasn't rebelliousness, but fear of becoming less valued by Kamisama. He'd rather be hated completely than loved incompletely…_

_When you find the answer, Sasuke, tell me which is more painfully pleasurable."_

_"I don't understand brother."_

_Poking my forehead, he forcefully took my chin and kissed me lightly on the lips. I closed my eyes sleepily, thinking I'd been dreaming._

_It was the day before you left me, paving the crimson path for me to follow. It became the only way I could go towards. It's the only way I know you're sure to be./  
_

He whispers to himself, "There couldn't ever be anyone else but you, Aniki. In love or in hate."

The chidori became more and more powerful by the second. Its sound is the clashing of screaming souls.  
It becomes louder and louder inside his numbing heart.

**Owari. / The End.**

**Tuesday, July 12, 2005**  
**4:18:02 AM**


End file.
